Saturday, September 23, 2006

Nightmares

Time started: 1:43am
Place: My room
Weather: Hot and humid
Mood: Tired

I

am
so
sick
and
tired
of
these
nightmares!!

I was so happy this year that I could sleep like a normal person...get the hours I needed and everything. But now the nightmares are coming back again and I just can't sleep!

I went to bed at 9:30pm and woke up at 11:30pm tonight.
I woke up from a nightmare.

In real life when I'm at the beach it is always when the sun is setting, there are people around, the sky is filled with all sorts of colours, it's not freezing and not raining either. I'm always accompanied by a friend. I feel nothing but happiness when I'm at the beach...
However, in my dream I was walking on the beach. There was noone around. The sun was rising, but it was not the kind that would brighten the surroundings. The skies were grey. Everything was dull yet terrifying. It was freezing cold. And the rain was pouring down hard.
As I walked along the wet, soft sand. I soon stepped on something novice to the sensation of walking along the wet sand. I looked down. It was a hand. It was covered in blood. A body was buried under the sand and nothing was revealed but this bloody hand.
I woke up straight away after I saw the hand. I woke up with this horrible gut feeling that it was someone I knew beneath the sand...
Now I am awake, and very tired, but I don't want to go back to sleep. I know my dream will continue, and I'll find out who that dead person is...

I'm always having nightmares...I've had a history of waking up screaming or as if I was trying to defend myself from something. It terrifies me to think that my mind could come up with such horrible nightmares...am I some sadistic, twisted person in reality?

I don't know why I'm having these nightmares now. My life this year is actually good overall...
Not to mention I had the most wonderful evening last night with Eliza and Kylie in the computer labs. We were there until half past two in the morning. We were supposed to do our work but we ended up having funny conversations with each other (we even managed to talk about poo for nearly and hour...). Before we were at the labs Eliza and I bought ourselves iced coffee and a block of chocolate each. We shared the chocolate between the three of us in the labs. It was a fun night. Simple, but fun. I'll miss Kylie a lot next year...

Anyway, I'm currently sitting in my dark room by myself, missing my friends...

*Sigh* I'm so tired, I really should go to sleep...but I'm so scared that my dream will continue. My dreams usually continue when I wake up from a nightmare that is not finished...
But I guess I should face my fears...

Time finished: 2:06am
Weather: Hot and humid
Mood: Exhausted

1 Comments:

Blogger Bird said...

I second your feeling. I havent had any decent sleep since I arrived in Taiwan :(

What I do is tire msyelf until my body gives up, then I drop dead like a corpse, though the headache afterwards is horrible...

Wednesday, September 27, 2006 9:54:00 am  

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