Thursday, April 20, 2006

Good things can't last...

Time started: 10:59pm
Place: My room
Weather: Chill in the air
Mood: .

I studied unproductively until 2am. I gave up with trying so I went to bed. I got up at 7:30 in the morning (note: I didn't sleep a wink...) and slowly got ready to go to school. I arrived at the library at half past 8 in the morning. I just went through the bloody textbook for 3 hours non-stop. It was the first time in ages I managed to study for that long productively. Eliza soon arrived at school and that was enough to stop me. Her calculator died so we went to the Uni Shop to buy a new one. Then we went to sit by the basketball courts to eat our lunches and do a bit of studying.
Soon it was time for our Microbiology laboratory session. Oh joy, we measured the diameters of bacterial growth... -.-
Yeah, Eliza and I just got our practicals over and done with because we just wanted to leave. We went up to the cafeteria and studied there. Kylie soon came along and joined us. The cafe played the "Three Days Grace" album and instead of studying I was just singing the entire time. I just couldn't be stuffed anymore. Soon it was time for that dreaded moment. The Chemistry Mid-Semester Exam! Heart throbbing...we eventually had to go inside the room where we actually required to have our brain cells respire for once...the first few questions were great...then it just kept getting harder and harder and harder. I finished the exam an hour early so I checked through it again, there were a few questions I couldn't do but besides that I think I did okay overall.
When I got home I just relaxed. I didn't want to worry about anything. I was still at that carefree stage. I talked to Jarrad on the microphone all night. I was happy, he was happy, we got along, we created the a story about a man with no arms, one leg, no brain, and functioned with his liver...we just mucked around like the good old hasn't been like that for ages...
Well....good things can't last...
Anyway...I had to do my oral today so after finishing having the happiest conversation in my life I got back to reality and prepared for my oral and progress report for my design group. I did the work until 5am, it wasn't good. I went to bed, woke up at 7:30am and got ready to go to the library to practise with the group at 8:30am. Our oral session began at 9 so we had to hurry up and get things done. When class was about to start the entire group felt so much dread. We were definitely beyond unprepared. We were the fourth group up. Katerina's group were first. They made us feel so stupid when they finished. When I spoke, I had such stage fright. I was trembling to the bone. I managed to get through my words though, so did everyone else. After we finished the tutor came up to our group personally and told us "You were the best group today". We just celebrated because we were so certain to do apallingly. We finished class an hour early today...Katerina and I walked over to my house and relaxed until quarter pass 12 in the afternoon. We then caught the bus from my house to Casuarina to have some lunch. The both of us were broke so we just went window shopping for a couple of hours. We did that until 3 and took the bus back to my house. Kat and I drank creaming soda (one thing we DID buy)and didn't do much, bumming around in my room until it was time for Katerina's class which started at 5.
After she left I just bummed around the computer. I played Go (Japanese Containment Chess) with Jasper online. Obviously I lost by a long shot. I talked to Jarrad as well. We were happy still, getting along just fine. Then he brought up something, made me awkward, and we just stopped and my stupid feelings for's ruining our friendship. Perhaps it's already ruined. He left without saying goodnight, one of the signs of "I can't deal being friends with you because you're in love with me and I can't deal with that...". Right now it just feels like my heart's been stabbed over and over again and it's just slowly bleeding to death. Then it got stolen from me, got chucked to the ground and just got trampled on all over. How many times has this happened already? I still have my heart to's all torn, tattered, broken and worthless yet I still offer it...why?
Um...yeah...been crying for hours now. Great. Got homework to do too. I'll skip that. Too sad to do anything. Pathetic!
Go cry on your bed, emo girl. Shut up and leave the world alone! No one needs to know your insecurities.

Time finished: 2:13am (yeah, I took what? You try writing a blog while you're crying your eyes out and not thinking about anything else but the one you love and how much you screwed up with your friendship!)
Weather: Nothing's happening!
Mood: .


Blogger Bird said...

hey, cheer up! you still got your whole life ahead of you

Saturday, April 22, 2006 9:13:00 pm  
Blogger •°¤*(¯`°ƒåήğזє°´¯)*¤°• said...

hehe...I cheered up. I'll write a blog about it later

Sunday, April 23, 2006 9:41:00 am  

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