Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Stupid Judgements! What?! No Stress?! What's going on?!

Time started: 12:12am
Place: My room
Weather: Cool & Calm
Mood: Same as the weather to an extent, but at the back of my mind it's yelling "BE STRESSED!!!!"

After my last entry I just did a bit of homework for a few hours then got back online in the evening and talking in this mass conversation with some of my closest friends. An awful thing happened that night though. I added Ken into the conversation (he's a US Marine) and Jarrad started insulting him because he was 1. American, 2. A Marine. He said the harshest things and Ken got really offended and they ended up yelling at each other. I was disgusted with Jarrad's behaviour! I just couldn't believe that I fell in love with this guy! I tried my hardest to comfort worked. He's understanding. Fortunately it wasn't long until Jarrad realised how much of an arsehole he was being. He was absolutely disgusted with himself and I felt really bad for him. I cried actually because I couldn't bear to see him like that. I got really worried because I've never seen him this upset but I was glad he admitted he was wrong and sincerely (I hope) apologised to Ken. They both apologised to me for fighting. The world is so judgemental these days. I hate it when people base their decisions about a person just on what country they come from, especially when they know nothing about the person. As much as I hated what Jarrad done that doesn't stop the fact that we're best friends and I stuck with (not for!) him until he went to bed. I think he hated himself that night. I know the feeling, it's not nice. Ken felt fine in no time though (that's the spirit! Don't get put down by silly things that people say!). I'm glad he's okay.
I talked to my other faithful friends until I had to get off. I was still in a pretty bad mood though...
The next morning I did my Chemistry Lecture online (rather than at school, stupid Lecturer!) and I talked to Ken. Ken was happy =). I was still really worried about Jarrad so I messaged him to try to make him happy =). Then it was time for my second lecture. I went to school, met up with Kat and Eliza for lunch. Kat talked about her Easter holiday and how she did stuff with her family. Eliza and I didn't talk much hehe but we listened intently =P. For Anatomy & Physiology we had a relief lecturer and I don't think anyone learnt anything from her. For the entire lecture I just drew a collage in my little drawing book ^^. Jade made some contributions into the collage as well ^^. We got let out of the lecture an hour early so we had a two hour break. Jade and I sat near the basketball court, ate chips, and studied Anatomy & Physiology together. I never knew Jade very well at high school. I'm glad that I was getting to know her better now =). It was nice to know that I was an option for her to have someone to talk to as well since she had no close friends around at Uni and had a tough time with dealing her emotions with life too. It was a good feeling, getting along with her, someone I didn't know very well, this afternoon at school.
Soon it was time for my final lecture, Microbiology, so I said goodbye to Jade and went to class. Jim, our lecturer put me and Eliza to sleep. Good ol' Jim. He's great at doing that...
Yay! We got let out an hour and 20 minutes early =). I went home, ate dinner, watched TV with my mum then had the intention of going into my room to do my assignment on the computer but DANG MSN! MSN IS DISTRACTING! I went online and talked to Jarrad and Jasper. Mostly Jarrad. He seemed happy again =). I don't know why, but I had a feeling he wanted to talk to me tonight. I think tonight he was telling me "thank you" in his own special, untelling way. *Bounce bounce bounce!*
Then I appeared offline so I could concentrate on my studying.
Hmm...but however, tonight...for the very first time in my life I feel under control, like I have no worries despite the fact that I have a midsemester exam worth 20% tomorrow and an oral presentation on Thursday and millions of things due on Friday. This is sooooooooooooooooooooo not my normal self. What's going on?! WHY AM I NOT STRESSING?! Oh feels great not to stress (for'll probably all sink in tomorrow the minute before the exam). I think I'll regret not stressing tonight because it's discouraging me to not work or study...but I just want to embrace this feeling. I feel so refreshed! I have this theory that I'm feeling like this because of Jarrad. I think I'm happy that he really loves, needs and appreciates me as a friend....I hope XD. And that after that stupid argument he had last night, Jarrad changed, in a good way....I hope XD. I don't know. Maybe I'm just being stupid again X_x.
Anyway...I'm going to study now. Maybe this no stress is beneficial because I'll eventually study productively ^_^. Stressing never really helped during study...come to think of it. I think tonight while I'm studying I'll enjoy it more because I'm in a good mood ^_^. Wieee! For the first time in my life, tonight I'm optimistic about myself. I like this feeling. OKAY! *Discipline comes in* TIME TO STUDY!!!!

Time finished: 12:55am
Weather: Cool & Calm
Mood: Strangely stress free ^_^


Blogger Lisa said...

I'm glad somebody's stress free. :P My supervisor is pressing me so hard lately it's not funny. I'm thinking of doing the evil and bring work to my trip with me tomorrow... *sigh* (I'm going away with Pete from tomorrow, coming back on Tuesday. :))

As for the fight between Jarrad and Ken, I'm sure after the initial rage it'll all calm down. American politics is pissing a lot of people off, including Americans. Someone said something very nice the other day: you don't have to support the war to support the troops. Which is true. I was talking to this guy in army waiting for deployment, he doesn't really think the war was anything close to just, but he is still fighting it, because he joint the army knowing he's protecting those he loves. I do have lots of respect for those who are serving, it's the actual politics behind it that I find disgusting. (And to some extent the self righteousness of some people. But that's for another day)

So yeah, won't be online for a while. You be good though okay. :) I'll try to relax a little while i"m away and try not to ignore Pete too much ont he trip. :P

*sigh* back to work I go... :(

Thursday, April 20, 2006 6:28:00 am  
Blogger Bird said...

let the boys fight, that is what most boys do to release excessive energy.

now, you be good,my life is pretty chaotic at the moment. It's so much easier with a do or die situation than this

~sings~ strips me down to drown ~sings~

Thursday, April 20, 2006 11:24:00 am  

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