Saturday, April 01, 2006

Talking to Silence

Time started: 9:47pm
Place: My room
Weather: Raining
Mood: Sad

Why do I feel like people are ignoring me? *Sigh* I'm so scared of talking to people these days. I'm so scared that I would say the wrong thing and hurt them. I think I may have done that tonight. I've been doing it a lot lately. Talking always seems to get me in trouble nowadays...I don't think I should talk to people anymore. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore. I don't know what things I say that make them this intentions are purely genuine, well at least I try to make them genuine. I just can't do anything right. I feel like everyone's giving me the cold shoulder. I'm worried, I've never seen people so upset before, when they talk to me. What have I done wrong? I'm so sorry. Whatever I said, I just wish I knew what to take back.
I just want my life back. I just want my friends back. Everyone's so distant this year. It's like we all don't trust each other anymore. Is this what growing up is like? Drifting apart? Then I hate it. I want to go back to those days that we were carefree and compassionate towards each other. We never took each other so personally. I don't know...I just can't act normal around people anymore. It's like it's a sin...I'm just making everyone unhappy. At least I feel like I am...I just want to make things better for them. It just turns out worse.
Maybe I'll bring happiness to them if I walked out of their lives so they won't have me to worry about anymore...
It's like I've lost the love from others I cherish and it's tearing me apart on the inside, hurting me like hell.

Time finished: 9:57pm
Weather: Raining depressingly
Mood: Self loathing


Blogger Bird said...

I hope you are feeling better by the time you read this comment.

For the record, I haveen't been avoiding you! NEVER!@ You should've known better :p

Now cheer up, well, let us try to do that

Monday, April 03, 2006 1:05:00 am  

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